This piece should be titled: Manic Depression with Dissociative Tendencies, however there isn't enough space in the title field to write that all out.

I "spoke" with a friend of mine, a professional photographer and art teacher, and asked him for his opinion of my artwork - here is our discussion and as such my artist's statement. For stock image links, please see the individual images of: Manic, Depression, and with Dissociative Tendencies

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Annie:

Well, here it is...

Aaron:

The piece is striking, but perhaps a bit disjointed (one can argue that that is proper given the subject matter, but it feeling disjointed is different from it reflecting a disjointed sense). That said I think the work has definite merit.

Why are the 3 panels on a background? What is the point of the flowery accents, where does this "place" the work. Is it a tapestry for displaying the 3 panels or is it reflective of the larger consciousness? If it does then reflect "the bigger picture" how might it be best represented and utilized? The flowers remind me of doodles that some people put in the edges of their notebooks. I do note that the color scheme of this border element ties in with the colors of the 3 panels, tying the content of the panels with this element, but where does it go, or does it need to? Why are the flanking images tilted?

I find the left panel full of iconographical information and quite interesting, perhaps overly loaded. The middle panel seems to have the most emotional depth. The right panel seems, in contrast, to be a bit hurried, not yet fully resolved. The horizon line bothers me, as does the "glow" of the upper right corner. I accept that it is intentional, but I have yet to determine what it is doing.

The most striking aspect of the left panel is how serenely at peace the female figure is in what I associate with the "depressive" state (reaper figure, winter scene with bare tree, stark). She is in a vulnerable pose and dress as she seems to trust her raven protectors to defend her private sanctuary as she dips her toe into an introspective pool who's colors match and therefore associate and draw us to the middle panel. It is in this first panel that the figure seems the most content. The scythe entwined with the hourglass seems to add a negative aspect to the scene, and the elongation of the hourglass might well indicate how the time here drags by. There appears to be writing on the wall behind her that I cannot read, is this correct? Was it legible and that detail lost in the resolution reduction that dropped the file size?

I particularly liked the distressed nature of the middle panel, where the left panel had spacial layering this has layers built of distressed imagery. I actually think this can be pushed further, not to make the image more distressed but to use multiple varying layers to create the same level of effect. This would provide room for a larger vocabulary to be used here. The Barbie (TM) like heads are an interesting decision, are these figures all equal in emotional depth and physicality, completely interchangeable? Simulacra, copies with no original? There is much to explore here and I look forward to seeing where this leads.

As stated before the right panel seems to need a bit more. Strong Christian symbolism, from the association of the butterflies to the resurrection to the Jesus/Mary ready to be hoovered to heaven in a state of rapture, even to the point of form (detail) dissolving into white light. Sense of supreme bliss tempered by the reminder of the scythe hourglasses. The figure is not grounded or seemingly in touch with surroundings. Outer focus vs the inner focus of the left panel?

Annie:

Yes, I was thinking about them being hung on a tapestry/wallpapered wall. That is where the idea for the "background" came from that is holding the three pieces together. I have seen many people just put their three pieces together with a colored border and a title and I didn't feel like that would finish it off the way I wanted. For me, this was an invitation into my own inner living space and thus, a sort of "parlor" like finish to the pieces.

A whimsical send off as it were.

Disjointed is a good word for it. While the pieces are, obviously personal and about me, "me" is disjointed and doesn't flow together very well. I couldn't make this flow very well from piece to piece either. Well, with the exception of color elements and the hourglass. Although, if you really know what to look for - there is an element in the "wallpaper" and the middle picture that are deliberately the same. So, on a subconscious level they are tied together. But, fractured. Like all good dissociative elements.

I originally thought about presenting the pieces individually. They are for a contest that is taking place on DeviantART.com. Then, as the ideas progressed and the images changed and the final idea coalesced, I decided on the triptych. The panel that holds them together is deliberately darker behind "Depression" and works its way towards lighter on the "Manic" side. The transition is through "Dissociation" which is always the path through which all consciousness moves. I could get really esoteric and say that the patterns on the background are representative of the meanderings of my dissociative nature, but I just really thought they were pretty. Or, my subconscious was at work. Take your pick.

I like the flanking images tilted because they SHOULD be straight. They SHOULD be even and measured and spaced and perfect. This is ART after all. Now that I am through rolling my eyes and chuckling - again, I go back to - I'm not even or measured or perfect; and, lord knows I'm tilted. I try to keep all of my pieces parts as far away from each other as possible.

If this piece were "full-sized" it would be 50" X 20". A hefty size for my first toe-dip back into art. And, yet there wasn't enough room on the "canvas" to move the pieces as far from each other as I wanted.

It's interesting that the right panel feels hurried. I actually spent more time on it than the others combined. Learning the techniques to get the result I wanted mostly. But, GOOD - it is supposed to feel hurried. IT'S MANIC! She isn't grounded, she isn't in touch with reality, she thinks she can fly and that she is goddess like and perfect and invincible and time doesn't exist for her and she can conquer it like she controls the butterflies (in her perfect goddess like trance) that has her holding dominion over the earth and her environment.

I could have gone the other way and had her painting 20 canvases at once in the room that was a mirror to "Depression" but I wanted her outside and just flying. That is what the mania feels like to me. Like I am above it all and capable of anything. It is actually the scariest part of the manic/depression for me. The glows are representative of how I see the world. Everything glows. I can't help but see myself in the world as invincible and magical. It is the "magical thinking" that I tried to impart a little of there.

There is much that is iconographical for me in the "Manic" panel, but it is a very subtle form of communication because it is so internal and therefore not talked about. Depression is just blathered about everywhere these days and more and more people understand the "symbols" of it. How many people really understand what it is like to be manic?

I never really thought about it before, but I have become - not comfortable, but not frantic - with my depression. I guess, in my own way, that means I have become peaceful with my depression. I just go internal and depend on the fact that it has always been a transient state before and therefore I have to believe that it will be a transient state this time. Even though I have NO idea how long THIS time will last.

There is an eye peeking out of the colors on the floor. Is it watching, is it reproachful, is it malevolent? I'm not really sure. I just know that the paranoia of being watched is a major part of my depression so I had to have it there. Suicidal ideology has to be there (the reaper of course), but if you notice, he could care less about what is going on inside and she could care less about him. He is there, but a non-issue. A thought, but not a threat or a real issue. It is the eye in the floor, the thought that isn't yet fully formed that is the real conundrum. Threat? Maybe. It is too soon of an exploration into that one for me to really know.

There really was no readable writing on the wall, but if there were to be, it would be meditations. Peaceful writings to read covered over by rantings during the times when there was no patience left for being locked in during the little death that is winter which is depression. But, this is a peaceful moment, so they are meditations. And, yes, time drags.

The middle panel is the one I did first. It is also my favorite to look at. There are so many layers there. Pieces flew apart and came back together again and the colors are so neat! It is just one of those things that I have done that makes me grin like an idiot I'm just so happy when I see what I've done. (Does that take away from whatever artist's angst I should be feeling about it?) Oh, well...

The image I used was one model that was in a pose that was just so great I knew I had to use her in one of my pieces.

The whole point of the contest is to use the "stock" images of the gentleman who is sponsoring the contest and then present the images you create to him to be judged. Well, she is one of his models and the vibrancy she brought to this one "stock photo" was just delightful. Back to the art...

They are not the same, and yet, of course they are. They are different in emotional depth, and they are all the same person. They are all in different times, and they occupy almost the same space, but not. They could never overlay each other to be made back into one person - even though that is how they started. Being torn apart fundamentally changes you such that you can never be totally whole. You can only imitate yourself. Imperfectly at that.


Thank you so much for your crit! It really helped me. I'm done with these for now. I have to turn them in. And, I have to write up all the stock work that I used. But, this discourse has really helped me and given me some new ideas.

Do you mind if I include your portion of our "conversation" in my online journal at DeviantART.com? It would be a nice addition to the artwork itself.

Aaron:

certainly.
aaron